


just come home(don’t let go)

by doctorsimmonswilson



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: 16x16 fix-it fic, Angst, F/M, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, if Alex dying isn’t your cup of tea I would steer clear, jo centric hate me if you want to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24105391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorsimmonswilson/pseuds/doctorsimmonswilson
Summary: When Alex ignored her calls, her voicemails, her texts for weeks, Jo knew. She knew he left her, and that he wasn’t coming back. She knew she had become too much.But one night, she finally gets a call from his phone, and her world is turned upside down.
Relationships: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	just come home(don’t let go)

**Author's Note:**

> Jo Wilson-Karev and Alex Karev deserve better 2020. So...I wrote it into existence. Inspiration came from the many other similar fics.

Jo finally takes a much needed seat, after the hectic day and night the blizzard had brought at the hospital. She lets her aching legs and back rest as she slouches into a waiting room chair. Her fingers ached from the many surgeries and sutures she’d completed, and her neck was stiff. She clenched her hands, relaxed them, clenched, relaxed, clenched, relaxed...

“Doctor Karev?” Jo looks up to see a nurse looking down at her both expectantly and annoyedly. “You gonna answer that?” The nurses drawl irks Jo for a reason she can’t quite place. Jo sits up and smiles politely.

“Yes, right, sorry,” she apologizes. Jo watches as the nurse walks off, picking up the phone. She realize she then how obnoxiously loud it had been, and how tired she must be. 

She peers at the screen. Her heart stops. She doesn’t know if she should answer or ignore it in retalliation. But something inside her brain urges her to accept the call, so she presses the button.

“Hello?” She sounds fatigued and nervous, she realizes. But she can’t bring herself to care.

“Is this Josephine Karev? Wife of Alex Karev?”

“Yes,” Jo answers with confusion, “this is she. And who has my husband’s phone?” She recognizes a man’s voice and is almost angry at herself for doubting Alex’s loyalty to her.

“Ma’am, I’m going to need you to come down to Seattle Presbyterian Hospital to identify a patient as your husband,” the voice is concise, cold even. Jo’s head spins, and her stomach ties itself into several million small knots.

“Am I- is he- Am I- is-“ Jo pauses to calm her breathing, “Is he- dead?” Jo grips the chair handle with sore fingers, and she can feel the blood rushing from them.

“Ma’am, I need you to identify the patient before I share his medical information with you.” Jo’s breathing becomes labored once again and she close her eyes.

“Okay. I am on my way now.” The man on the other side of the call hangs up. Jo realizes she’d been crying as a salty tear falls upon her lips and she tastes the bitter heartbreak. She thinks for a moment that it might not be him, that his mom might be sick or maybe he really did cheat- but it’s a moment’s fantasy. She has to be realistic. She has to prepare herself.

Jo makes her way to her car shakily, and mindlessly drives to Seattle Pres. When she arrives at the other hospital, she feels a wave of nausea crawl up her throat, threatening to kickstart her gag reflex. 

She approaches the nurses’ station, squeezing the fingers on her right hand around her wedding and engagement rings. 

“Hello, I got a call. They think my husband is here, and I was asked to uh, um identify him?” Jo poses it as a question, because she feels stupid. She’s a surgeon, she’s had this talk with countless families. Why is this so hard?

“Name, please,” the nurse at the computer says blankly, not looking up at Jo.

“Josephine Karev. My husband is Alex Karev.”

“Room 2134. Third floor, left wing,” the nurse continues typing. Jo places a hand on her swirling stomach. She reaches the elevator, filled with doctors, nurses and technicians. She realizes for the first time in nearly a decade, she doesn’t fit in. She’s the family now, not the medical personnel bustling around with ten other patients to worry about. She takes a shaky breath.

When the elevator finally reaches the third floor, she feels like a robot; she has to make her legs move militantly or else she thinks she might fall over. She keeps going until she reaches Alex’s room. She stops outside and clutches her purse to her chest. It doesn’t ease her anxiety. 

A doctor comes out of Alex’s room, a grave expression on his face, “Mrs. Karev? Would you like to take a seat?”

Jo dizzily looks at him, “No. I- I’m a surgeon. It’s Doctor Karev. I- I know how this goes. He’s dead, right? And you want me to tell you it’s him?” 

“Missu- Doctor Karev, your husband is not dead. However, I’m afraid he has sustained significantly brain trauma. He was hit by a car. We suspect that brain death is inevitable within the next four hours. You must be familiar, but would you like to discuss your opt-“

“No,” Jo swallows. “I- uh- he would- wouldnt want to be-“ Jo can’t bring herself to finish the sentence. “Can I see him, please?” She feels tears well up in her eyes and her chest deflate.

“Yes, of course. I must warn you, this is always unsettling, to see a family member in such a state. He is connected to many machines,” the doctor looks pitiful, and Jo nods.

She follows the other physician into room 2134 and it takes her breath away. Alex lies on a hospital bed, machines all around him. Jo hates that she knows exactly what each one is doing. She wishes for a moment she was ignorant to all of it- she wishes it could be simply that there is no hope for him; she wishes she didn’t notice all of his stats or levels. 

She carefully moves her feet over to his side. A nurse brings a chair behind her, and she gladly sits in it, her feet slowly become less numb, and more searing aches. Jo studies her husband’s face for a moment, before gently pushing his hair out of his face. She brings her hand down to his cheek, caressing the stubble.

“It’s him. This is my husband,” Jo states. Then she promptly lets out a sob. She grabs his cold, pale hand in her own and places her head on his chest. She only stays like that for a moment, before lifting her head, and looking at his doctor, and another one who has joined him.

“I consent. To him being taken off life support. It’s what he would want,” she sniffs, looking back at Alex’s pale face. 

Jo lets them turn off all the machines, but before they turn off the last, she whispers to Alex one last time. 

“I love you Alex,” she feels her lips quiver as she lets out one last promise to him. She kisses his forehead, and lets go of his hand. For several moments, the doctors and nurses leave the room, with sorrows for her loss. She sits at his side, looking at his handsome face for the last time.

Then, she gets up, finding a policeman in her way.

“Here are his things, Mrs. Karev,” the policeman solemnly hands her a bag. “And, we found this letter next to him in the crash,” she is handed a piece of slightly crumpled packet of paper.

“Thank you,” she nods, before walking past him, all the way back to her car. Working on autopilot, she drives home. Home, to the loft space she and Alex have shared for the last several years. The first place she’s ever thought of as her home. A safe home; one that resides with love and warmth. 

Once inside, she places the bag full of Alex’s things on the living room table. She takes the packet out of her purse, and slowly opens it. She grabs her chest. He had checked Helen into a psychiatric facility. She had a bad break, and he wanted to make sure she was safe. 

Jo shoves the papers into the bag with the things he had on them at the hospital. She then feels the familiar wave of nausea craw up her throat. She barely makes it to the bathroom on time to lean over the toilet. She reaches for a hair tie in the cabinet drawer, and feels a box. 

She recognizes the object immediately. A pregnancy test. Before Alex left, she had bought it just in case. She had an inkling. But then the fire station baby had her dismissing the idea, that it wasn’t hormones, but baby fever. She pulls the hair tie and the box out of the drawer.

She feels like she wants to die. Like she wants to go to whatever comes after with Alex. She doesn’t want to be pregnant. She doesn’t want to be burdened everyday by an extra reminder that he’s dead for the rest of her life. But she takes the test anyway, feeling ridiculously shaken as she pees on a stick.

She works up the courage to call both Link and Meredith. She calls them both in hysterics, so naturally they show up within fifteen minutes. Jo lets them in numbly.

“What the hell happened, Jo?”

“Did Alex come home?”

Jo waves them both off, “No, uh- Alex, he um- I got a call. After my shift was over and I finished my last surgery. That he was at Seattle Pres. He was basically brain dead. They said he would be indefinitely so in two hou-“ Jo lose her footing and slides down against the wall.

Her friends stare at her in disbelief. Link is the first to sit beside her, then Meredith.

“He’s gone. He’s dead. Alex is dead,” Jo sobs, leaning into Link’s shoulder. At her side, Meredith cries silently, tears streaming down her cheeks. The three stay like that for a time, Jo sobbing, Link supporting her weight, and Meredith shocked. Jo suddenly pulls away from the others. 

“There’s uh, something else,” she goes into the bathroom, coming out a moment later with something in her hand, “I’m pregnant.”

Meredith and Link look up at her shocked. Jo lets tears fall down her face, “I don’t want this. I did, but now I don’t. And it’s Alex’s, and it’s too late to do anything, and- I can’t do this. I don’t- I can’t-“

“Jo,” Meredith sits her down on the bed, “you can. I know- I know what you must be feeling. I really do. And I know you can do this. Because I did. You can.”

Jo looks at her, “No, no. I can’t. I don’t have anyone. You have your kids and your sisters, and Link you have Amelia, and the baby- and I- what do I do? How do I do this?” Jo squeezes her eyes shut, letting Meredith hold her.

“We’ll be here,” Link kneels in front of her, “you do this for the baby, and for Alex. And I know you can. Because you’re stronger than anyone else I’ve ever known. You survive the impossible, and you’ll survive this too.”

Jo wipes tears from her face, “I need to sleep. I want to go to bed.” Meredith nods, and joins Jo where Alex would normally sleep. Jo realizes that without her there, she would never have gotten into this bed. Link steals a pillow and blanket from the couch, taking the floor.

“Let’s sleep, then,” Meredith’s voice is strained, “Let’s sleep, and then we can get up for Alex, tomorrow?” Jo nods. For Alex, she would rise.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr: @angryslytherin
> 
> leave kudos and comments if you feel so inclined!


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